I’m a relatively healthy person. When I go for my physical, my numbers are all in line with what they should be. Though I have lousy sinuses and am plagued with sinus colds, for the most part, I don’t get sick. Until this year, the last time I used antibiotics had been ten years ago when I had bronchitis. Until this April.
In April I got pneumonia. It was hideous. Started out as a really bad cold, then turned into pneumonia. Now I know that pneumonia is dangerous: it is not something to be taken lightly, but still…
I was supplied with my drug cocktail: two antibiotics, two cough medicines and a steroid. I learned early on that I had to stagger taking the medicine so I wouldn’t feel sick (you know what I mean). I created a spreadsheet. (no- I am never too sick to create a spreadsheet) But early on I learned a simple fact: there’s a reason why an antibiotic protocol is ten days- because you need ten days to get better. See, last time I used antibiotics I didn’t need the cycle to feel better- I started to feel better after one day of medicine. But not this time. This time I didn’t feel better till after my protocol was over. This made me feel old. My body no longer recovered right away. I was human…
Human? You mean I’m not a super hero? WTF?
Old? Too old to recover quickly? WTF?
This was a rude awakening, which led me to my next revelation. I need to take better care of myself.
When I first got the cold, I didn’t slow down. I pushed my way through the cold. I didn’t increase my sleep, I continued with my thousand activities and social commitments and chores. I pushed myself, because that’s what I always do.
Because if I had rested when the cold started, it probably would not have turned into pneumonia.
Now I refer to my life as BP (before) and AP (after) because pneumonia was a giant wake up call: I need to take better care of myself. I need to sleep more. I need to make sure I eat properly. And I need to impose limits on myself. It’s fitting that this post comes the day after my discussion of my new planner, because I need to plan my life a little differently now. I still have a long list of daily things that must get done- there are things that must get done on a daily basis. But now, instead of cramming fifteen extra things, I choose a top three (I’ve always had a top three but now I stick to it). If I am feeling OK, I will pull a few things off the list. But if I’m tired, I rest. If I’m tired I delegate. If I’m tired I decide if it’s really that important. I cross things off the list without doing them.
The delegation is hard for me. It has nothing to do with my lack of self worth (see last week) but all about being independent and doing things my way and on my own schedule. I am pretty persnickety about how I like things and I have to swallow hard when I watch my family fold clothes or unpack groceries. I have to stop myself from rearranging the fridge shelves because they don’t do it the right way. Because something had to change and that something is me.
So, I’m going to try to limit my slightly OCD tendencies (no- I am not diagnosed OCD, I just have certain behaviors that probably have some sort of OCD route) I’m going to try to be more mindful of my health. I know me, and I know this will not be easy. But I know that it’s what is best for me.