When Something Goes Wrong

My Husband wanted to organize a group dinner with his buddies from college and their spouses.  He planned it six weeks ago and sent out a text asking if X date was good.  Oddly, for people with busy lives and kids, all were available on a particular Saturday in September. Husband found the perfect restaurant for a group of 15: we could get one table instead of breaking up into smaller tables as some places do, they had a prix fixe menu so it would be easy to divvy up the bill,  they had gluten free options for our gluten free friends, the wine list wasn’t stupidly expensive, and it was six blocks from our house, which was perfect because we wanted to have pre dinner cocktails on our roof deck. Let me make this clear: I did not want to plan this event.  I did not interfere at all except to say that the date he picked was free.

Perfect.

Now, you probably know that I am a detailed list maker.  My Husband is not.

About three weeks after he planned the dinner, he realized that he forgot to add a couple that was supposed to be invited.  He looked at me and said “What do I do?” cause you know this is rocket science.  I said “Tell them, hey, I just realized that you’re not on the email.  Sorry. And give the details of the night.” Which he did.  Whew. Glad we got through that ordeal…

Now fast forward to the week before the event.  Husband is in Alabama for the Alabama/Texas A&M football game. No, Husband did not go to either school- he just roots for Alabama…

Friday afternoon I get what I perceived to be a frantic text. “Made reservation for wrong night.  Please find a restaurant.”

Now here’s the thing about NYC: it’s always busy here.  With the exception of the last two weeks of August, the city is never quiet.  And in the fall it’s worse, because not only ae there tourists and conventions, all the people who live here are actually in town (summer and winter weekends are often spent at the beach or on the slopes) So getting a dinner reservation for 15 people on a Saturday night at 8pm in my neighborhood that is reasonably priced and has a gluten free options- well this was a tall order.

But I found the perfect place. (It only took an hour…) Good atmosphere, pitchers of sangria, and all of the above.

Perfect. I text my husband. He’s happy.

Fine.

When he returned to the city on Sunday, he asked: “Can you go down to the restaurant and see what we should do about ordering food?  How can we handle everything?”

Remember- I did not want to do this.  I did not want to do any of it.  Yet here I was….

Now- I know that couples have to help each other out- I realize that’s part of the deal.  When one needs help, you help. We all screw up. Fine.  He has helped me out before. A lot. But- I admit I resented this a little.  I know he’s stressed out at work.  I know our life has been a little hectic.  But yet… I really didn’t care that much about this night out…to me, it was a dinner with friends.  Not a party.  Not a function.  Just 15 old friends hanging out together.  No reason to be “in charge”.  Yet, he wanted to be in charge.  He just wanted me to do it.

But the end of the story is, I went to the restaurant, worked everything out, had a great night. The take away here is: my husband doesn’t like making lists.  He doesn’t like marking things down in his calendar. This always causes issues and stress.  (he has triple and quadrupled booked things- often) So sometimes I wonder if I want to be an organized list maker, or if I need to be an organized list maker….

 

Advertisements

Method to my Madness

Ok- here’s the post 2 months in the making….the one you’ve all been waiting for……My Sunday Evening Routine.  I know- I know- very exciting.  I’ve wanted to write this post for awhile, but something has always gotten in the way, but here, for your Friday enjoyment…..a little peek into the crazy that I call my mind.

On Sunday nights, (now with the aid of my new planner) I plan out my schedule for the week ahead.

  1. I look at what I have going on and schedule in prep and travel time if required.
  2.   I get everyone else’s schedule for the week and schedule in if I need to assist Husband or Daughter, and I confirm things that I am supposed to do with them
  3. I go over my to do list, schedule when things will be done, and go over my goals and see if anything can be tweaked. This road map time is important to me because it allows me to think about what is and isn’t working, and where I can adjust my routine.  I will write notes months in advance, for example- my January Calendar already has a note- “start planning summer vacation”
  4. I go through “action” folder on my desk.  My action folder holds all papers, mail and school related things that I received that week that did not require immediate action.  It also holds things I ripped out of newspaper or magazine, or brochures I picked up alone the way.  I really look at these things and act on them- ie- if I pulled a recipe I put it in my recipe folder, if I got a flyer for a concert I buy tickets, I schedule to buy canned goods if there is a donation drive at school.  I also file things such as medical reimbursement or anything we still get on paper (which is surprisingly high even though we’ve mostly gone paperless)
  5. I send out text/email to everyone I am supposed to meet with that week to confirm (I also reconfirm the morning of meeting, but that’s just me)
  6. I plan meals and grocery list for entire week (I like knowing who will be home for dinner, what time we will eat, and how much prep will be involved.  I also have certain themes- Monday – Vegetarian, Tuesday -Chicken, Wednesday- Fish, Thursday- Beef, Friday- Pork.  The weekends we often eat out, and I will also utilize leftovers/freezer things.)
  7. I plan time with my family and friends.  Yes- I schedule this because it is important to me.  My goal is to have 2 dates with the Husband (1 us alone, 1 with others), 1 daughter outing, 1 family outing and 1 friend outing and something just for me.  This doesn’t always pan out-(this week I am not able to have an outing with daughter- our schedules conflicted) but I try.
  8. I plan exercise time.  The goal is 5 hours a week.  Exercise is important to me.
  9. I figure out what needs to be bought, and if it can be done online or locally.  I make one run to a drug store type store every week.  If my family needs be to get anything, they must tell me by Monday morning because that is only day I will go.  They don’t tell me, they’re on their own.
  10. I also have a little relax time for me on Sundays.  I like a bath, and I do a face mask and a hair mask and I read a magazine.  This recharges me and makes me the happy go lucky person you read on a daily basis……what- you think I should step up my game on the relaxation cause it’s not really working?!?

Some people will think this is stressful, but seriously- it works for me.  Taking an hour on Sunday nights really sets me up for the week ahead.

And on that note- have a great Friday!