Spoiler alert. This is not about porn, nor is it written in the style that I refer to as humor- In rare form- I am actually seeking input.
A friend of mine received a subscription to Playboy. It was addressed to Mrs. John Doe. She jokingly told my friends and me about this and we had a good laugh.
Except I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this. And not as a joke.
Wisdom and insight are the two most valuable things that come along with wonky eyesight and achy joints. I think of myself as someone who is fairly intuitive- I get a feeling, and I’m usually right. I believe this gift (and curse) comes from watching many years of Columbo and Monk. And for the past few months, by internal radar has been pinging. Something about this subscription seems off (apart from the obvious).
Why did she receive a fully paid subscription?
A joke? She is very mannerly and ladylike. If this was a joke, it would be especially cruel given the type of persona she exhibits.
A free magazine subscription? While I’ve received Good Housekeeping for free, I can’t imagine Playboy being a” just wait, there’s more” addition to something once purchased.
A mistake? Well- someone paid for it. That requires a credit card.
Her husband ordered it? Perhaps. But who pays for porn anymore? Isn’t that why the internet was invented? Free porn?
And the way the subscription was addressed: Mrs. John Doe– that’s the part that was irking me.
Why did the address label say this?
So of course, being the trusting soul that I am, I came to the conclusion:
Her husband is having an affair. Probably long term. He told the affairee that he would leave his wife once their youngest went off to college. September came, and he stayed with his wife. The subscription started in December. This is her way of letting the wife know that something is amiss.
And yes. I have been struggling with this since December. I am basing everything on a feeling. So yes, part of me is a bit obsessive and crazy (a big part)….but still…..
And to answer the next question swirling around in your head- do I trust the husband? And my answer is no. I’ve always wondered if he had a roving eye. But to be fair, she is my best friend from college, and though we communicate several times a week, I don’t see them that often. I’m just basing this on a feeling- the fact that he fits a profile in my head of a guy who would cheat.
I have not told my friend these suspicions. Obviously- I have absolutely no proof. I could be wrong (though that happens so rarely). And yet…….
So does one’s spidey sense get stronger with age? It there something beyond madness to my thinking? Am I crazy? (I mean about this one specific thing- we don’t have to do an entire personality profile) Or do I just need another hobby?