My Secret Obsession

20180709_0934431734729047.jpgI have a tendency to take things to the extreme-I become really passionate about something, and I go all out.  This mainly manifests itself in my organizing habits, but really, it’s a pattern in everything I do.  I become crazed with trying different recipes every night, trying to read a certain amount of books every year, or watching everything nominated for an Oscar.

This is just me- it’s part of my personality- and for good or for bad, it defines who I am.  To know me is to know and appreciate my quirks. I don’t have any obsessions that are particularly harmful, just a little embarrassing.  People often look at me funny when they find out about some of these habits/routines that I have developed.  And while I don’t really care what anyone thinks about me, I do sometimes feel a little odd.

Sometimes I don’t realize something is an obsession until there is a catalyst- a moment of pure clarity.  This happened to me recently.  I read about a product in a beauty article, went to Sephora and plunked down my hard earned cash for it.  I got home, totally excited and greedily read the instructions.  Seriously, buying this thing was the second best thing to happen to me this year.  And in my moment of excitement, the cold hard truth hit me right in the face: I am obsessed with products for my eyes.

While I normally buy drug store brands for cosmetic needs, I realized that my Sephora VIB status was earned mainly by eye products.  I saw that I had all these pretty little jars and tubes, gels and creams.  And I use them all: some are at night, some are for the morning, some are for mid day.  I have an eye product for every occasion.

Now being me, I had to figure out why I was so obsessed. Did you think I wouldn’t overanalyze this?  Why did I own all these products?

Obviously, I think there is something wrong with my eyes. And no, there really isn’t anything “wrong” with my eyes They are just not the same eyes I had when I was younger.  They now came with baggage.

This was a tough realization for me.  My eyes were always a point of pride: they are big,  I have decent lashes and eye brows, and they are a funky hazel that spans all sorts of shades of green. I have very few wrinkles (genetics). My eyes are also extremely expressive- they tell a story for me better than I tell it with words.

And now they have big bags underneath them.

I am not happy about this.

So when I went to Sephora, I purchased a little vibrating wand that I’m supposed to use twice a day.  Supposedly, the vibrations help break up the loose floppy skin.

Seriously.  I spent good money on this product that vibrates my eyes.

Yes. I know.  You’re all thinking, how narcissistic is this woman? And some of you are thinking a whole lot of other things.

This woman is completely narcissistic about her eyes. And a whole lot of other things.

This bothers me.  I never thought of myself as being obsessed with my looks.  I accepted the fact that I was reasonable attractive, but I really didn’t do too much to enhance it.  I exercise and wash and moisturize.  Make up when I feel like it, because I like playing with cosmetics.  But I was never one of those women spending hours and paychecks on being beautiful.  I was happy with who I was.

And now – well, I’m still happy with myself, but….I feel like I need some help.  My eyes, and the areas around it need help. And no matter how many times my intimates tell me I’m beautiful, I still don’t always feel it.  But that’s all on me-

I still go out in public.  I have no intention of going “Phantom of the Opera”. And I will probably continue to spend money on products that will work on my eyes.  If you want to sell me snake oil, make it pink and promise that it will make my eyes beautiful…

FYI- I have not been paid by any of the products that I have pictured.  That’s just a peak in the real products that I use.

 

 

 

 

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New World Order

Change.  Whether we like it or not, change is inevitable.  Minutes, hours, days, weeks, years pass before us and like it or not, nothing stays the same.  But some changes are harder to fathom than others.

I consider myself somewhat of a Darwinist: I embrace the thought of “Adapt or Die”.  I feel it change is necessary in order to survive.  I may not love how tech has seemingly taken over the world, but I realize that I must keep up with it of I will go much the way of the dinosaur.  I have to accept that tech is not going anywhere.

But the one change I never saw coming was the role I play in my family.  I am older than my sister by almost seven years, so I had the early upbringing as an only child, yet somewhere in first grade there was an addition.  I’ve always been the quieter, responsible one, a protector of sorts- when it came to her.  But my parents were my parents- they provided and nurtured as best they could.  They were in charge.

My Father turned 80 last month, and my Mom will be celebrating her 60th high school reunion next weekend (I’m not supposed to reveal her age…).  And they are still mobile.  They still have their mental faculties.  I am blessed so far that there health remains pretty good.  But they are getting older- I can’t deny this.

Last month we went to dinner for my Dad’s birthday: my husband and daughter, my sister, brother in law and niece, my Uncle and my Mom.  We went to an iconic New York steakhouse (my Dad’s favorite) which serves its steak dinners family style: big platters of porterhouse and creamed spinach and German fried potatoes in the middle of the table. So when the food is to be shared by the table, you must figure out how much to order. Two steaks for two and two steaks for three?  What temperature?  How many tomato onion salads? Who wants shrimp?

I watched my parents fumble at ordering food.  They were having trouble ordering food at a restaurant we’ve been going to for years.  My Father who ran a successful business, my Mother who inserts herself into any situation, were stumbling.  My Sister was adding to the confusion  by wanting to massively overorder.

I had to take charge.

I had to usurp my parents authority.

This was the first time I envisioned the future of my parents.  This was the first time I realized that things are going to change, and my parents may not be able to make their own decisions anymore.

So I told the table- ie my parents- that I was going to do the ordering.  I knew how much food we needed.  I knew how much steak to get medium vs medium rare. The waiter instantly recognized me as the “go to” person, even though my Father was footing the bill. And though that day was about steak and potatoes, I saw my future in front of me. I was their protector now too.

I never saw that coming. But I need to adapt.  It’s a new world order.

And the dinner went off great.  We had the exact right amount of food.  I made sure my Dad got the pieces of steak he wanted, and I ordered him an extra piece of pecan pie because I knew it wasn’t fair to make him share a piece with all the others.  I wanted him to have a good day, because I realize there aren’t many good days left.  That’s just life. Things change.

 

 

 

 

 

You Matter

Ok.  It’s secret day.  First secret:  I buy the majority of my skin care products from the drug store.  I don’t use big name, expensive brands.  Second secret: I’m a little crazy with skin care.  There is nothing I hate more than dry skin, and the older I get, the dryer my skin gets.  It’s like the ‘be careful what you wish for’ thing- when I was younger my skin was a bit oily and I longed for it to dry out.  Well, I got what I wished for.

I believe I have separate lotions for every part of me.  I don’t go anywhere without hand cream.  My life is a constant battle to not have my skin crack off.  So I use a product on my face known as serum.  It goes on before moisturizer, and adds an extra level of protection.  I’ve been buying No. 7 for a few months now, so I recently went to replace it.  Unfortunately, I did not remember which particular formula I had bought, so I began reading the packaging for the four different serums that they manufacture.  While I was comparing and contrasting, a young (very) salesperson came over to me.  She was asking me what problem I was trying to overcome.  Here’s the third secret:  I don’t like being helped in a store unless I ask.  I am perfectly capable of figuring things out on my own.  So I was a bit ornery when I responded “Well, you tell me.  You see my skin.  Which serum should I be using?  Am I spots, wrinkles, fine lines or industrial strength?”  She looked at my face and then she replied, “Well, actually, your skin looks great.  Seriously, it’s in really good condition.  Which one do you use now?  How long have you been using it?  You could be the commercial as to why you use it, because your skin looks great.”

So what’s the point?  Was this just a big ploy to tell you how great my skin is?  No.  And yes.

Take care of yourself.  This doesn’t mean spending a lot of money.  It doesn’t mean being a slave to advertising.   But it does mean washing yourself properly and using products that will keep your skin healthy.  Just take what you have and be the best you that you can be.

Sorry, you can’t reverse time.  You can’t become younger.  You can’t make wrinkles go away, or reverse damage, or any of the things that skincare claims.  No one is ever going to tell me I look 44 because I use a serum.  But you can do your best to maintain what you do have.

Take care of your mind.  Take care of your body.  Take care of your skin.  These are the things you have.   Work with what you have and treat them kindly.  There is no miracle cure once things go south.  Maintain what you have.  It is not vain to take care of yourself.  You matter.  Treat yourself like you do.

I have received absolutely no compensation for talking about No. 7.  It was just a detail to my post.

Is It an Excuse

Last week I wrote about adapting, how we must keep learning and changing in order to survive.  The comments were amazing, prompting me to continue thinking about the subject.  So here’s some new thoughts on the subject of adapt or die.

We’re going to start with an anecdote.  When my Husband was about 40, he decided he wanted to be promoted to the next level at his job.  After speaking with his boss, he was told that he needed to have an MS in Tax.  Without this piece of paper, there would be no more promotions.  He already had an MBA, so this would be a second advanced degree.   He already worked a lot of hours.  We had a young daughter.  He asked me what I thought.  I told him to go for it- get the degree.  And he did.  Three years of going to school at night, after a 10 hour day…he completed his course of action.  He didn’t love sitting in a classroom again.  He didn’t love studying on weekends when he would rather have done other things.  A few people actually mocked him- asked him why he was bothering, at his age.  At his age, they said, he should be teaching a class, not enrolling in one.  But he adapted to his environment, his reality.  If you want something you do what it takes.

40 is not old, yet people told him he was too old to go to school.

Which brings us to the next point:  is being old, or older a reason not to change?

There were some comments last week about being tolerant of older people who may not like using the internet, that maybe there was no reason why these people should change/adapt.  Here’s my thoughts:

We should be tolerant of everyone, regardless of the situation.  I ask for tolerance every day, because WordPress and I have a love/hate relationship.  I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing half the time.  I learn what I can, and hope that no one notices the obvious gaffes.  I get frustrated and I muddle through.  There are times I’m doing something technical, and I’m on with customer support, and I will say “Talk to me as if I know nothing.  Explain it to me in baby steps.”  I hope that I get help from someone who understands that it takes me five minutes to find the backslash key on my computer, and that I still refer to “hashtag” as “number sign”.  So yes, tolerance to all those who are not as savvy, whatever the situation may be.

But…

Age should never be used as an excuse.

Now I admit, I sometimes use age as an excuse.  This is usually when I’m trying to do something that requires an iota of flexibility.  This is when I feel my knees give out.  Then I blame age.  But honestly, I shouldn’t.  I should be doing things to increase my flexibility.  I should be doing things to ease my achy joints.  I have no right to use age as an excuse.

Age should never be an excuse for not learning something.  If you don’t want to learn something, that’s fine- but don’t use age as an excuse.

See, the problem with using age as an excuse is that it can backfire.  If people use age as an excuse to not learn something new, this could lead to ramifications in the workplace.  Like, why should we hire someone of a certain age, because they’re not going to want to learn something new- they’re not going to want to learn that new program.  Not wanting to learn or change because of age sets a bad precedent.  And what age is the right age to not want to learn something new?  80?  65? 57?  40?

Using anything as an excuse is ridiculous.  My friend had an employee say that they couldn’t do something at work because of menopause issues.  Really?  You couldn’t sit at a desk and use a computer because you had menopause issues?  Does that mean that women can’t do work because of menopause?  Bad precedent.

If you don’t want to do something, learn something new, adapt- that’s fine.  But own it.  Say I don’t want to learn how to use the internet because I think it’s a stupid waste of time.  Don’t say I’m too old.  Because you’re not too old.  You just don’t want to.  And that’s a big difference.

Don’t use age as an excuse.  It’s not fair to the rest of us who  want to  get up and get on.

 

You’re So Vain- Part 2

Last week I talked about vanity.  As it’s still on my mind (which is probably some sort of vanity itself) I felt I needed to talk about it again.

I met up with my writing group yesterday, two women who were in my fiction class with me.  As you may recall, I was vexed by a comment calling one of my characters vain.  My friends totally disagreed with the comment, given it’s place in the book and what it was signifying, so I was glad that others shared my opinion.  But they enlightened me to something else.  We sometimes spend more time on ourselves as we get older.

I freely admit, it takes me longer to get ready now, than it did years ago.  To be fair, I’m not the sort of person who takes an inordinate amount of time- I’m pretty much a wash and wear sort of girl.  But now, I need an hour to get ready if I need to shower, 25 minutes if not.  My Husband doesn’t get this at all, FYI.  After 16 years of marriage he still thinks I can be ready in 5.  It takes me longer than that to put my moisturizer on.

See, that’s the thing.  Make up doesn’t take me a long time.  Hair doesn’t take me a long time.  It’s the other prep work- the moisture part.  As I’ve gotten older, my skin, my hair, my everything has gotten dryer.  I have separate lotions for every part of my body.  I start with an eye cream, then a face serum, then a moisturizer- and that’s just my face.  Heavier cream for my elbows and knees, cream with sunscreen for my hands, foot cream with vitamin E….I even put a few drops of oil in my hair….

This isn’t vanity.  This is just so my skin won’t crack and fall off.  This is now routine maintenance.  Without these creams and potions I would crinkle when I walk.  Seriously- it adds a whole new dimension to the term dust to dust….

But….

I admit I stare at my reflection a little harder now.  My eyelashes are a little more sparse (I think there is a gel you can put on them to make them more luxurious.  the fact that I know this scares me a little).  My skin is a little less taut.  My undereye bags can now be considered a distinct part of my face.  It is hard to look at myself and not see the younger version of me, because in my mind I am still that younger woman.  In my mind I am still the woman who was just attractive because there is an attractiveness in youth.  Alas, none of us realize that when we are young- we’re to busy trying to grow up.  We take for granted the tight skin, the lack of spots and other weird things that eventually creep up on us.

Does this additional self reflection make me vain?

I don’t think so.  Maybe it makes me a bit wistful, makes me think of the past.  Maybe it forces me to think about choices I’ve made, for better or worse.  Sometimes you have to take a long hard look in the mirror, to both remember who you were, to see who you are, and to consider who you will be.

Vanity

According to Miriam-Webster the top definition of VANITY is:

  1. inflated pride in oneself or one’s appearance
  2. something that is vain, empty, or valueless

This is the fact portion of the blog.  Now I will proceed to the anecdote

I wrote a chapter for my book that I brought into writing class for dissection.  I wrote a scene where my protagonist is preparing for a date.  She tells the reader her grooming ritual and states that she is not vain.    One piece of feedback I received was “Character  seems vain.”

Character seems vain.

Is using make-up and moisturizing creams vain?  Are these grooming rituals that I go through myself considered vain?  Does the fact that I have a daily grooming ritual make me vain?

I wear make-up most days of the week.  I don’t do it for others:  I do it for myself.  I like eye shadow and liner and blush and mascara.  I enjoy this portion of my morning where I either listen to music of the news and get myself ready. I like when I am going out at night and I do something a little more dramatic.  I admit, I like the way I look with make-up on.  To be fair, I am also happy with myself without make-up.

Does my wanting/liking make up make me vain?

I also have a very elaborate skin care ritual.  I wear moisturizer and serum and eye cream.  I wash my face thoroughly at night.  I like clean, and I like when my skin feels soft.  My products all use some form of the words “anti-aging”.  I don’t buy these things to appear younger- I buy the products that are best for my skin.  I am oldish- I need different things than my teen daughter does.  But does my wanting to take care of my skin in an age appropriate manner make me vain?

What is the line between self care and vanity?

I think vanity means different things to different people.  If my Mother does not have a full face of make-up on, she will wear sunglasses.  Doesn’t matter the time of day, or if he is indoors, she will put on sunglasses because she doesn’t want anyone to see her without make-up.  See, to me, that is vain.  That’s my definition.  My Mother can’t understand how I go out without make-up.  I am 53, and she will still say to me “Lipstick.  Why aren’t you wearing lipstick?” (OK- here’s my thing- I wear lipstick at night, but during the day I wear tinted lip balm.  I don’t care if you can’t see my lips from across the room- I am fine with just a hint of color, but full on protection from chapped lips)

So, for my first real blog of 2018, I ask you all the questions:

What is vanity?

Is being vain bad?

Does caring about yourself reduce your “value”?

This is going to be a multi part blog, as I will look at different aspects of self care in the next few weeks, and look forward to different thoughts on this topic.

 

 

 

Old Dogs and New Tricks

I went to an art opening the other night, a photography school in the city.  I was invited by a friend, who had a friend exhibiting in the show.  The exhibitor was a woman in her fifties, married with 3 teenage/adult children and 2 teenage/adult step children.  She had a wonderful career as an architect and decided that she wanted to have a change of pace, so she quit her job and went back to school to learn photography.  At fifty something.

Sometimes, we think of being in our 50’s and above, or being empty nesters, as the end of the road.  Why do we do this?  Fear, society, I don’t know.  But we do- many people look at the second half of their life and sigh with resignation.  We need to stop doing that.  You know in a sporting event, how many second half comebacks there are?  And aren’t those come backs the most thrilling to watch and experience?  Well, it’s time for our comebacks.

As my writing class nears its conclusion, I noticed that the younger participants have dropped out, literally and figuratively. (to be fair, one of the older participants did as well)  Last night, the only ones to do the writing assignment were the over 35’s.  Why?  I don’t know- I didn’t take a poll, but I’d say the younger ones are either not ready to be writers (writing is really, really hard) or realized that they don’t want to be writers.  Which is great that they figured this out.

But let’s focus on the over 35’s.  They want to write.  They’re writing.  They’re taking classes.  They’re improving.  This includes me.  We want to do it.  We can do it.  We will do it.

So here’s the PSA- we can virtually start over now.  Age doesn’t matter.  We’re not ready to be pushed aside and looked over.  We can do anything.

So if you want to pursue a degree in something- go for it.  I mean you Carol(e) sorry- can’t remember how you spell your name, but I think you should become a phycologist, or at least study it- you love it.  And anyone else who has a passion or a yearning- it’s not too late to try.  We are not too old.  Go be whatever you want to be.  There are a plethora of online classes now- you could be in a yurt somewhere in the middle of nowhere, but if you have a viable internet connection, you can study Chinese cooking or art history or virtually anything.  Go to school, buy a book, join a group.  Get back in the game.

Here’s the best thing about being older- we have a much better understanding of who we are as people.  Our life experience has made us stronger and smarter.  We know how crappy life can be and we learned how to bounce back- no one makes it to fifty without a few setbacks.  And because we have a better understanding of who we are, we have a better idea of who we want to be.

I want to be a writer.  I don’t know if I will succeed, but I’m going to try.

What do you want to be?  Isn’t it worth a try?

Look into the Mirror

I ordered Stitch Fix the other day.  For the uninitiated, this is a company that will send you 5 stylish additions to your wardrobe.  You fill out a questionnaire- it is very thorough- they ask how you like your clothes to fit, describe your body (are your arms short, average or long), colors, lifestyle.  You are shown pictures of various outfits and you rate them, love, like or hate.  I’m a quiz kind of person, so this was fun for me.  Though too much Buzzfeed left me with expecting an answer as to who my soul mate is (George Clooney if you’re wondering…)

I received my first box the other day.  The clothes were shockingly perfect for me, both in style and fit.  That’s one hell of an algorithm and stylist combination.  I sent pictures to my friends- they were excited to see what I got.

Now- I know many of you know I live in the middle of NYC- a place kind of well known for it’s shopping.  Why would I buy clothes online, site unseen, based on what someone who does not know me thinks would be perfect?

Well, I hate shopping.  And shopping here is not always a pleasure, especially here.  For window shopping it’s wonderful- there are always beautiful things to see.  But that’s fantasy shopping.  That’s not buying a pair of jeans and a nice shirt to wear out on a Saturday afternoon shopping.

I was also in a style rut.  This is multi part.  First off, I’m older.  I loved the way I dressed when I was younger, but those clothes and styles no longer make me happy.  I love mini skirts, but not on me.  Not now.  5 years ago sure.  But not now.  I’m OK with my age.  I’m happy to have made it this far.  I would wear a big scarlet 50+ sign if I could.  (Sorry- daughter is reading Scarlet Letter and I’ve heard about that book for a month now)  But I wasn’t sure how to shop for the new me.

This wasn’t just about my age though. It was also about extra pounds lodged around my waist and chest.

I noticed that I was buying clothes that were baggy and shapeless, and I was buying a size too large on top of that.  I realized that I was literally hiding under things.  I had not realized how much the extra weight I was now carrying was effecting me mentally.  This is not healthy on so many levels, but as soon as you realize you are hiding in plain sight, you know it’s time for an attitude adjustment.

I’ve mentioned that I have weight and food issues that I have been dealing with my entire life.  I’ve never been anorexic or bulimic, but I’ve still let food dictate my life.  For much of my adult life I’ve been able to deal with it, but at the end of the day, the issues are still deep inside me.  They have the ability to reappear at any moment.  I must be aware of this.

So this is why I asked a complete stranger to pick out clothes for me.  I needed a gentle nudge.  I needed to know that I can still be me, even with the added pounds.  I needed to exist.  I needed to come out of hiding.

But it wasn’t just the clothes- it was my whole appearance.  I love make up and manicures and all things once considered girly.  I love them for me, because they always made me feel good- but I noticed I was getting very lax.  My cuticles were a mess, I walked around with chipped polish, I was letting more and more time go between haircuts.  The extra pounds made me feel like the there was no point in taking care of myself.

Big. Red. Flag.

Once I was fully aware of what I was doing- I set up a plan to change.  Raise your hands if you’re shocked that I wrote out a list and added things to my planner.

I wore some of my new clothes on Saturday.  I did my nails.  I felt lighter.  I felt like me again.  I really missed me.  I’m glad I found her again.

And some of you may think this is superficial, that appearances shouldn’t matter.  And that’s great- I get that- the inside is what counts.  But see, with me, the insides weren’t at 100%, which was affecting the outside.  The insides were affecting my whole person.  So I self corrected.

Sometimes you have to self correct.

Continuing On

You’ve heard me talk about the importance of family tradition.  I believe families should have rituals that they follow in some sort of pattern.  Last weekend, my family went to a corn maze- we have been doing the maze at this location for 12 years.  As we walk down the path, we look at the pictures from past mazes and talk about how fast we did them.  Competitive family- we try to beat our time from the previous year- my daughter is sort of a maze savant- (this year, Queens County Farm Museum threw us a curve ball- they made the maze longer and more difficult- so we had to readjust our expectations)

But just like families- couples and individuals should have rituals too.  My Husband and I did not really have these rituals when my daughter was younger, because we did so much as a family unit.  But we realized a few years ago that our daughter had her own life.  She no longer played soccer and softball, so our attendance was not required at games.  We were no longer needed at weekend activities- she played in a tennis tournament a few weeks ago and told us we didn’t need to come.  She has plans and she has homework and she has more homework.  The husband and I are sort of free.

So- we began a new set of traditions.  We go to the Orchid Show at the Botanic Garden, the cherry blossoms at the other garden, etc.  Last weekend we went to Open House New York (OHNY).  OHNY is where building and organizations open up their doors and give tours- these places are not often seen by the public.  We had tours of two gorgeous churches, including The Church of the Transfiguration (where PG Wodehouse got married) and Marble Collegiate (where Norman Vincent Peale was Pastor).  We also went to Center for Book Arts, where they actually lay the type for some funky books.  I can’t give a good explanation of this place though, hence why I don’t write reviews) but suffice to say it was cool, interesting and different, and I’m considering taking a class just to see how books are made the old fashioned way.

So- now that I’ve included Sunday Wrap up into  Wordy Wednesday…….

I also have started my own traditions.  I now go to the Tribeca Film Festival every year (I think you get the idea of what this is)  I go to the New Yorker Festival (which is basically an event for the editors of the New Yorker to show how intellectual they are by running panel discussions and interviews).  I find things to do on an annual basis.

Why are traditions important?

They give you something to look forward to.

I think as people get older, many have a dread that life is over.  They’ve had kids, they’ve had careers, they’ve owned houses.  They have done some of the things they set out to do.  They also realize that there might be some stuff that they never got around to doing.  That’s when the sadness creeps in.  They don’t always know what to do next- all they see is an empty calendar- days with nothing to fill them.

So you fill in the blanks.

Annual events are an easy way to start.  If I know the New Yorker Festival is the second weekend of October each year, I can jot it down.  That’s a day in the calendar that is not blank- that is something I look forward to.  (I know- half of you are thinking- OMG- she’s off on one of her scheduling tangents- you’re tired just thinking about writing something in your planner (?) for a year from now…I get it….but….)

As we get older, we need to adapt and/or change.   Yeah- I get it – change is hard.  But not changing- well, does that make things easier?

I switched to glasses this week- I didn’t want to, but I had no choice.  Accept and move on.  My daughter will be going to college in a few years and I will no longer see her on a daily basis.  Accept and move on.  Adapt to the new reality.  Live in the present.

 

 

 

I’m too Old for That

I play this silly app, Design Home (where I get to live out my fantasy of being Joanna Gaines for 20 minutes a day) and when I was voting the other day, I noticed an interesting screen name: “I’m too old to play this game”.  Now, I’m not too old to play the game, but I thought about other things I am too old to do.

  1. Wear stilettos.  Yes, I know I look hot in them, but really, standing in heels is not something I want to do
  2. Maintain my hair in it’s natural brunette state.  Vanity has precluded me from going grey, so I have turned to the shade that has more fun.  If you knew me, you would know that blonde is the last thing I ever thought I would be.  And I’ve always been fun…
  3. Be petty.  Of course, just because I’m too old for it doesn’t mean I’m never petty.
  4. Be mad at my parents for parenting mistakes, or things they did.  It’s done.  My life is my responsibility.
  5. Care what others think of me.  Frankly, you are too old for this on the day you are born.
  6. Eat after 9pm.  Seriously, there’s logic behind the early bird special.
  7. Leave the house without a list of everything I’m supposed to do, buy or see.  And list should be in chronological order.
  8. Finish a book that I hate.  I used to have this thing about finishing every book I started- it only succeeded in making me miserable.
  9. Argue with my husband about stupid things.  It’s never worth it.
  10. Accept an invitation to something because I’m “supposed to”.  Unless I can think of a valid reason as to why I am “supposed to”.
  11. Shop at Forever 21.  I realize the name implies that I’ll always be 21, but I can’t fathom shopping at the same place my daughter does.
  12. Sit in the direct sun at the beach.  Or sit on a blanket on the sand.  I like an umbrella and a chair.  Call me a Princess.
  13. Hold on to anger.  It doesn’t mean I can’t get angry (you may have read a rant or three of mine) but it does mean I have to let it go.
  14. Hold on to sadness. Same rules apply.
  15. Pretend I am younger than I am- why bother?  What’s wrong with the age you are?
  16. Obsess about my looks.  When I say obsess, I mean constantly wondering why I don’t look the same as I did 20 years ago.  The goal is to be healthy and take care of myself.
  17. Snapchat.  Seriously- anyone over the age of 30 that says they know what snapchat is, is lying.
  18. Ski.  I know I’m not too old for this, but I just don’t like skiing.
  19. Engage is discussions about politics or religion.  No good can come from this.  Everyone is entitles to their own opinion.
  20. Play tennis with my daughter and win.  Two years ago, I was able to beat her.  Winning is now a distant memory.  She is faster, stronger, and I hate to admit this, smarter than me.

Don’t worry- there will soon be a list of things I am NOT too old for!