Many of you know I have a love/hate relationship with gifts: love to give them, hate to receive them. So this time of year is always a challenge. Inevitably, my daughter will ask: What do you want for holidays? And I will inevitably answer: Nothing thanks. I have everything I need.
I know this is not really a good answer. We give gifts because we love and want to show that love. But I am a horrible gift recipient. I have very particular taste, and I hate waste. The thought of getting a gift and giving it to the thrift shop the next day does not fill me with glee. I once broke up with a guy because he bought me something and was upset that I didn’t jump up and down or cry upon receipt. Truth is, it was a piece of jewelry that was expensive but gaudy and not my style. He thought I should love it because he gave it to me. I thought he was not the right person for me.
Conversely, my Father is not a gift giver. My Mom always takes care of that (to excess I might add) But when I turned 50 he gave me a statue of David Wright (my Father and I bond over a love of the Mets, He took me to my first game when I was four and it was love at that diamond for sure) As my Father is not a gift giver, this statue means a great deal to me. It is special because it shows our connection and what makes my relationship with my Father special. This is how I think all gifts should be: to show the unique and special nature of two people.
Around my vanity I have all the notes that my daughter has written me. No monetary gift can replace the value of these notes- they are the greatest things I have ever received and I treasure them.
Yesterday, one of my writing friends gave me a pencil holder that said “Write” on it. I love it because it is simple yet perfect. Again, it solidifies our connection and what makes it special. And hey- practical! She knows I edit in pencil and always have them handy!!
So when asked what I want for a gift- I have no clear answer. Sure, I always want a gift card for a massage, or tickets to something. I’m an experience type of person. But mostly, I want something that shows that the person giving me the gift knows who I am. Knows that expensive doesn’t mean that I will love it, or that price makes it “better”. Knows that I value function over form. Knows that I value the thought above all else.