I can be a little overbearing. I can be opinionated. I can be a control freak. No one would ever describe me as “laid back”. I think you can ascertain most of this about my personality, and I am OK with that. I will freely admit that I exhibit many of these traits in the majority of my life.
I am actually somewhat laid back as a wife. Not in the domestic side of things- I run the household with a pretty tight leash. But, as far as my Husband goes, I am pretty easy going.
He wants to hang out with the guys? Go ahead. No problem. Wants to go to Alabama to watch a football game? Works for me. Wants to hang out with people from ski club, men and women? Have fun. Want to go to Montana to ski for five days? Don’t forget your gloves.
Many women look at me and say- “You’re crazy.” “You trust him?” “Why does he want to be out so much anyway?”
I think of it like this: if he’s going to cheat, he doesn’t need an excuse, or a situation- he would do it anyway. I’m not a particularly jealous person. I don’t covet things other people have, I’m not particularly envious. I don’t view his wanting to hang out with his friends as an affront against me. I like hanging with my friends too. I certainly wouldn’t want him to tell me what I can and can’t do. And skiing- well- he loves it. Me- I figure if I was intended to be ass down in a pile of snow, God would have made me a polar bear…..so if he has friends to ski with, then I’m a happy girl.
But that doesn’t mean I’m naïve.
Case in point. Last weekend he was at a ski club outing. I tend not to accompany him, because frankly, I don’t like many of the people in the club. When he came home, he talked to me about two of the women in the club.
Him: “Wow. S and R were talking about the guys they were dating, and how lousy the sex was, and how they had to break up with the guys because the sex was so bad. They said that sex is the most important thing in a relationship. I don’t know- when you’re 50ish, is that the most important thing? Isn’t it just getting along and wanting to spend time together?” he said.
Me: They’re trying to get you to sleep with them.”
Him: No? Really? What?
Me: They’re trying to tell you that they are hot and ready all the time. That life with them would be one long sexcaspade.
Him: You mean they are trying to lure me away from you?
Me: Yes. They assume because I let you off your leash that we have a lousy marriage. They want to be married/paired off, and they figure you are a willing victim. They know you’re not afraid of commitment, your kid is almost out of the house, you’re a reasonably nice guy in decent shape….
Him: Women don’t do that
Me: Really? You think?
Now, I’ve seen these women at social functions. I know exactly the type of women they. They are not women I would ever be friends with- for myriad reasons. Let’s just say, if I ever finish my current novel, my next one would be about women such as this. They are a caricature, and a stereotype, but boy would it be fun to write about one. Let’s just say there is a reason why one of them has been divorced 3 times, and the other one is desperate to be married….and I mean desperate.
Did my husband learn anything about human nature? Probably not. At 49 he still doesn’t realize how conniving people can be. I know, I know. It’s my fault. I’m such an amazing human he finds it hard to believe that there are people with faults…but I can only point out that sometimes people have ulterior motives, that sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Except me being perfect. Because I truly am perfect…….