I ran into a neighbor the other evening. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey. All ready for college?
Young Woman: Just about. Can’t Wait.
Me: When do you leave?
Young Woman: A few weeks.
Me: Great. Good luck. What’s a recent high school graduate up to this evening?
Young Woman: Tinder date.
Me: Ohhhh…..sounds fun….have a good time???
And my voice trailed off into the sunset….
I remember when this girl was born. She went to the same elementary as my daughter. She just graduated from the same high school my kid attends. I knew her. I watched her grow up. And she’s on a tinder date.
I feel old.
I realize people date. I realize people use tinder. I didn’t realize young woman that I remember running around the lobby would use tinder.
I feel like a prude. I didn’t think I was a prude. I thought I had a pretty healthy appreciation of sex. I thought I was pretty open and realistic about what actually happens in life. But I think I’d rather be an ostrich. I’d rather have my head buried deep in the sand. Because I don’t want to think about any kid I know, male, female or indifferent going on tinder dates.
If my daughter were to go on a tinder date, I would want to know. Well- not really, obviously I want ostrich mode.- but I would want her to trust me enough to tell me what she was doing. I would make sure she was as prepared as possible- has what she needs physically and mentally.
But I would not be happy about it. I don’t think I can ever prepare myself enough for my daughter to go on a tinder date. There is no “Dummies Guide to your Child going on Tinder dates.” (But I guess that’s a book idea right there……)
I’m a fraud. I’ve always said I would support my daughter no matter what she does. But as of this moment- if she comes to me in 2 1/2 years and tells me she’s going on a tinder date- I don’t know what I would actually do. Other than cry. And bang my head against the wall. And you know, alienate her forever, and make sure she doesn’t trust me or ever tell me anything else again.
I know I’m jumping the gun, that this may never happen. But us control freaks- we always like to anticipate everything….
But for now, I’m- I going to borrow a line from Mojo, and just go LA LA LA LA LA I’m covering my ears with my hands……..